Wednesday, 22 April 2009

I hate Rainy Days


Summer is not yet over but it's already raining..... I hate rainy days.. It stimulates my eccentricity..It makes me feel dejected. The rush of emotion pulsing through me shatters the facade that shields my disappointments in life.. Disturbing questions intrude my idealistic mind... leading to frustrations and painful realizations.

Right now...

I am extremely demotivated. I feel that I am losing the meaning of my existence..the value of hard work...my self worth. Why? because coming to work has become more stressful and annoying to me. I don't care anymore. All of the sudden, I feel so undignified.


I don't know why I am writing this blog entry. I think my brain cells get depleted. I am no longer the vampire my mind remembers. I feel a sense of inadequacy. I miss the old days.

I think I am struggling with my QLC, career, emotional crisis? The signs are becoming more obvious.


SCENARIO A: (TexT Conversation)

X: Msta? Ano n blta? Vampire: e2. la kwenta. gago p dn. kw msta?
X: pgod sa schl. 6 units n lng at thesis mata2ps k n MA ko. kw? wen ka magtu2ro? Wat plans mo?
Vampire: Di ko lam. Ewan. Bhala na.
X: Huh? Ano nangyari sau? di k nman dati gnyn a.

SCENARIO B: (YM CHAT)

Kuya: Asan na resume mo? Ano ba, gusto mo ba mgturo?
iskolar22: Gusto po. Sige maya po email ko sau. busy lang e.
Kuya: Ano ka ba? parang di ka naman interasado. Laki sweldo dito kaysa jan kinikita mo sa Pinas. Ayaw mo ba dito?
iskolar22: Gusto ko po sana dito magturo kuya. Basta send ko po sau.

SCENARIO C: (Text)

QA: Me opening sa QA. apply ka na sa amin. Dala ka resume maya
Vampire: Gusto ko yan. Sige check ko.

I have zero level of confidence. I have the tendency to stay in my comfort zones. I am confused if I must stay and step up or move out and fulfill my passion- to inspire young minds.

Damn it....

I hate rainy days..

6 comments:

Jinjiruks said...

err. on the contrary eto pinaka gusto kong season. siguro dahil sa natural na akong emo kaya panahon ko siguro ito.

Luis Batchoy said...

hang in there... this too shall pass!

bioniclugaw said...

sarap nga ng ulan. sarap humilata buong maghapon.

burned out ka dude. bisita ka muna sa kabaret at lumandi-landi ng konti. o kaya tambay ka sa pasilyo ng opisina nyo at kumerengkeng muna sa mga dumadaang opismeyts. mawawala din yan. haha.

missoxymoronic said...

i-QA na yan! woohoo! you'll do well as one... masyado ng maraming depressed na tao sa earth my son, wag na tayong makisali... it's just a phase i know, kahit gaano katagal abutin ang phase na yan, ok lang... dumadating yan... im still so proud of you. i love yah!

bampiraako said...

@ jinjirunks- madrama lang siguro ako lately. malapit na kasi burpday kaya gumagana na naman peter pan syndrome ko

@ Luis Batchoy - Thanks po. Sige higpitan ko.

@ Bioniclugaw - sige try ko yan. Samahan mo ako para masaya. hehe

@ missoxymoronic - Love you mama! Hay..umaandar na naman ang sakit ko. giniginaw kasi utak ko pag tag-ulan

Badong said...

wow. hardcore yung description mo ng nararamdaman mo ngayon. i agree sa lahat ng sinabi nila. it's just a phase. lilipas din yan.